Being the friends with kids is hard. But these are the day we prayed for. These are the days we longed for. These are the days we are thankful for. For three years Nick and I prayed for a baby. We went through three long years of infertility to finally have our bundle of joy. Atticus is a true answer to prayers and not a day goes by that I am not thankful for him.
Before Atticus, it was nothing for Nick and I to go on vacation for a week or pick up and go to dinner at the drop of a hat; simply because we could. It was just Nick and I, so anytime the opportunity presented itself, we took it. We would go out with our friends and never question being home at a certain time, or could go on vacation with one bag a piece and not worry if we forgot diapers or bottles.
Sometimes friends forget we have the responsibility of another human. One that cannot tend to himself. But what they also forget is that we aren’t sorry for having him. We aren’t sorry that we have to skip vacations that aren’t child friendly or dinners that last too late into the night. Don’t get me wrong, we love to go out and have fun, but we always love to come home to our sweet baby. There is no dinner or vacation more important than our little boy.
Moms who are shamed for staying at home instead of working, not going to that dinner, or skipping that vacation, I commend you. It is hard to become so selfless and be able to give up the life you had before to make sure your child is taken care of. Friends who don’t understand parents that leave that dinner or skip that party, don’t be so quick to judge, because at any moment it could be you and you will then understand the joy of having something so important to go home to. Instead, call your friend and tell them what a great job they are doing and reassure that mom that she is doing amazing, because you have no idea what she could be battling or how much she could be questioning herself.
“Motherhood- it’s a choice you make everyday, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is… and to forgive yourself, over and over again for doing everything wrong. ” – Donna Ball
Are you the first of your friends to have a baby? Have you encountered any of these issues?