I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with my third child, and I desperately hoped she was a girl. I was late, and although my husband and I were trying to get pregnant, it was taking some time. After dropping my two oldest boys off to school, I rushed into my local Kroger and picked up a pregnancy test. Now, I was way too impatient to wait until I got home, so yes, I took the test in my car in the parking lot. Can you imagine? Wait don’t imagine, LOL!
You guessed it, the test came back positive, and I was ecstatic! I was pregnant with my third child. Could this be my baby girl? The news was exciting for my entire family, but it was even more exciting to my mother. My mother really wanted me to give her another granddaughter (My older brother has a daughter). You see, my mother is all about the clothes, hair bows, pink, pink, and did I mention pink? She had already started collecting outfits. So, the day finally came to find out the sex of our new baby.
It’s Not a Girl
As the ultrasound technician slid the probe around my belly, she mentioned how everything looked good and asked if we wanted to know the sex. Of course we said, “Yes!” And then she said, “Well, it’s a boy!” I am not going to lie, my heart sank. The dreams of having a sweet baby girl just went out the window. I kept a smile on my face because I was still excited to bring another human into the world. Looking at the ultrasound picture, I couldn’t help but gaze at those sweet cheeks, cute toes, and he was completely healthy. There was no doubt that he was a pure blessing from God.
Baby Boy Number Three
I kept the gender under lock and key, and we revealed it by cutting a cake filled with blue. There was some disappointment, but mainly excitement for our healthy baby boy. However, every once in a while I would catch myself still feeling disappointed. I would feel sad about all of the things that I would never get to do with a daughter: comb her hair, pick out cute outfits, dress shopping, or even buy her wedding gown. Who would call me for advice or who would I get my nails done with? This really weighed on me. Whenever I would mention this to someone who had a daughter they would say, “Girl, believe me, boys are so much easier.” But my heart still felt the same and I would find myself wishing I had a girl.
My Son’s Debut
I gave birth to my son, August Andrew Ollie, on August 9, 2016. It just so happened this guy was born on our 8th wedding anniversary. Everything happened so fast, but he was perfect in every way. After having him, I have come to terms with not having a girl. I just do not think that it will happen for me. But, in the back of my mind, I wonder what if? What would she be like?
I am blessed with three boys to love and cherish, and I realize how blessed I am to be able to have children. So, with that in mind, I love my boys hard. I create moments with them in every way I can – from cooking with them, or spending time singing and dancing. I enjoy them to the fullest.
Have you ever just stared at your kids in amazement that you are a mother?
This is what I let flow in my mind when my mind wanders into “what-if-ville”. I can say I am excited to see what the future holds. Maybe I’ll get my girl in a different form – through my sons, or maybe even adoption. Until next time loves!