The Married Sex Talk
Come on in girl! I know your looking at the title of this blog post and wondering, what is this? And if you are shy or private about talking about your sex life, you get to read this anonymously. Believe me I was there once, but then I came across a season in my life where it all started to make sense when a question was posed to me during a conversation with one of my Girlfriends about my sex life. After taking sometime to think about it, it hit me!
Our sex life had become obsolete since we had became parents. Am I the only Mom who has experienced this? As a mom I had became ok with, ‘If it happens, it happens’. Long gone were the newlywed days, where I would be waiting literally at the door when my hubby got home from work.
But guess what? I decided to get serious about learning new ways to connect with my husband after kids. So here is what I did. I had the Married Sex talk with my husband.
I started by following this check list:
- Have a Face-to- Face conversation about each others’ sexual desires. Be specific about what you need and how it makes you feel. If necessary, take notes to refer back to.
- Don’t be afraid to try new things that may bring pleasure to your spouse. If it’s something that makes you uncomfortable, try a happy medium.
- Make sex a priority, yes things will come up that may put sex with your spouse last on the list, but it’s up to us to make a conscious effort to get back to it.
- Clear out your mind space that may be blocking you from connecting with your spouse during sex. It’s easy for our minds to go different places with our hectic lifestyles. Stay focused during sex. Focus on tapping into your passion and desire to be please, and be pleased.
- HAVE SEX, lots of it!
All of these tips helped me, and we started our own journey to a deeper connection between the two of us. Having these conversations isn’t always easy, but they are necessary for growth. I realized that being a mother was lots of hard work, but I learned that I should be working hard being a wife too. Sex is a BIG part of that. Believe it or not, men want to feel wanted too. My willingness to try new things, and just even asking about his needs generated such great conversation and reminiscing about the old days. It gave a certain hope and plan for our future.
We should try new things that will make both partners happy. I learned that I shouldn’t feel bad about wanting alone time with my husband. No kids allowed!
It is important to not beat ourselves up about trying to be the perfect wife, and mother meeting all the needs of our families. We have needs too! Making sex a priority can help shape our married life into what we want it to be.
So even if it is uncomfortable, sit your hubby down and have this conversation with him. Let’s build strong marriages so that when our babies leave the nest, the nest doesn’t unravel. Plus I hear a woman’s sex drive goes into overdrive in their 40’s and 50’s.
I want to hear from you! Do you struggle with making sex a priority?